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The Heart of your Communication

Perspective meaning: a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; a point of view. Communication meaning: he/she imparting or exchanging of information or news. means of sending or receiving information. Communication is a valuable tool and a gift from God when used correctly. There was a time in my life that I didn't understand the value of communication. I didn't realize that my communication style was influence by elements around me. Your method of communication will take its own form of life. Communication is such a vast topic. People have many different ways to communicate. I will be focusing on one area of communication that's had the most significant impact in my life, perspective. My perspective affects how I receive and send information when communicating. One's view of communication differs from person to person depending on their mindset, heart, an environment that's created from one's surroundings (upbringing). For instance, you may receive or send information from a place of pain and trauma. When you speak all the time negatively; it will influence the way you view life. That's also the same as speaking from a positive view of life. Take a moment to think about the adult influences in your life and how's it's affected the way you think. Maybe you're deemed not to trust because most people are not trustworthy. Maybe your parents were always negative, even when it was good news. They pointed out the negative possibilities. Maybe there wasn't any grace given in your home for making mistakes. You 'we're treated harshly. Those types of behavior will influence the way you communicate when sending and receiving information from others. I know a person if you told them you were sick, they would diagnose you have you dying by morning. I would try to share a positive perspective; however, they would be negative. Even if the discussion started positive, it would end on a negative note. But, here's the thing I was just like that before the Holy Spirit came into my life. Not only did I have a negative attitude, but I also could not take corrective criticism. I thought peoples view of me was coming from a negative place. But, really they were only trying to help me be a better me. The negative or positive response of communication will tend to affect your personality and character. Say, your parents have a discussion you notice there is a difference of perspective in how they view the same situation. You hear your mom say, "Praise God He made a way to pay off those extra bills." However, you hear the father say. "We could use that money to do other things. I'm tired of paying off bills. 'That's all we do is paid bills." What happening mom's perspective is coming from place gratitude. However, the dad perspective is coming from a place of frustration. Matthew 15:11says, "What goes into someone's mouth does not defile them, but what comes out of their mouth, that is what defiles them." I also notice your attitude can affect what you fear when you're being communicated too. I remember one time my ex-husband and I went to meet with a counselor during, our meeting my ex-husband said something that offended me. So, the counselor asked me why I was so, upset. I told her I didn't appreciate what my husband at the time said. Then she asks me to repeat what I heard that upset you. So, of course, I happily repeated what he said. I was shocked when she said, "he did not say that!" Actually, what he said was supporting what you had said earlier in the conversation. But I heard something completely different. Due to the pain, trauma, and dysfunction, I experience in our marriage; my perspective was cloudy. One must be a sender of the communication the other person is the receiver. Discussion can be useful when used precisely. It will require you to think your thoughts through and express with accuracy. Sometimes people may need you to provide them with more details to gain a better understanding. As we communicate with people, we have to keep in mind of the receiver. It is not always the words we use, to express our thoughts and feelings, however, your body gesture and tone of your voice. Yes, body gesture can sometimes speak louder than words. It's like the old saying, "a picture speaks louder than a thousand words." Body gesture and tone of your voice can be just as powerful as your words. Our face expression and movement gestures create its way of communication. However, unfortunately, a person must interpret what your expression means. When trying to decipher someone else thoughts, this can lead to misunderstandings. Like I mention before communication is a vast subject. Therefore, 'I'm going to share a few steps I use when communicating with others. Before doing so, let me be clear it took the Holy Spirit to come into life and change my mindset. It takes the renewing of the mind and breaking behavior patterns. Romans 12:2, "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing, and perfect will." God is saying our mind needs to be renewed. The way we think and view the world needs to come from a place of love, not pain and trauma. There's no way to understand what God has for your life when you're thinking comes from a place of pain. Tips to help you while communicating with others: Look directly in the eye of the person you're talking too. Nodding your head from time to time during the conversation. This will give them the indication you're listening. Be cautious of your facial expressions and body movements. Let them finish their thoughts before responding. When I'm unsure what their asking of me. I repeat what I believe I heard. Sometimes I say, "So what I heard you say" or "So you need me to?" "Are you saying?" This allows you to clarify the person expectation of the conversation. Always have in mind what is the purpose and what's your desired outcome of the conversation. Please, know these strategies or skills are not always needed during casual conversations. However, they can be useful when building a new friendship, partnership, in a marriage, as a leader and supervisor. Food for thoughts: Keep in mind; we live in a world that's diverse in many ways. Our culture has exposed us to many styles of communication. Therefore, everyone doesn't think like you. When receiving or sending information never take for granted the person you're talking to understand everything your saying. Use every opportunity during the conversation to clarify. When empathizing with the person allows you to step into their shoes. I know you may not connect with their situation. However, you can find a similar situation in your life that allows you to connect with them and show empathy. When your perspective comes from a negative place, you will miss the many blessing that surrounds you. Remember the tone of your voice and body gesture is a language all by its self.

God's Love! DJH

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